BURLINGAME, Calif. (KTVU) - A Bay Area father's texts to his wife after their son throws up has gone viral, and it could go down as one of the funniest child vomit stories of parenting lore.
Ben Patterson posted the story on Facebook along with a screenshot of a series of texts to his wife.
Patterson says that he had just switched cars with his wife and had the kids with him so his wife could go out with some friends.
The fun begins on the drive home when his son unleashes "projectile vomit" from the back seat.
Patterson tries to get a hold of his wife with no luck. He pulls over and sends a photo of their sick child covered in vomit.
She doesn't immediately respond and for the dad who happens to be a "sympathetic vomiter" he's not handling the situation so well. He texts:
I just threw up trying to clean him up
It smells SO BAD"
You'd think things couldn't get worse, but it does.
Patterson has pulled over in a Burlingame neighborhood and has found himself getting sick in front of a woman's yard.
He is then confronted by the woman who comes out to accuse him of drunk driving with his children in the car. So she proceeds to call the police.
His texts to his wife conveys utter desperation as he explains that he doesn't know what to do.
"I'm barfing every time I try to clean him up
I'm puking on some lady's lawn in Burlingame and she comes out to ask me if I'm drunk while driving the kids
I'm trying to explain that I'm a sympathetic vomiter and can't handle the smell
This is so bad
Aaaaand now the cops showed up
Aaaaand now a breathalyzer
YOU OWE ME SO BIG"
In the end, Patterson passes the breathalyzer test with no problem and then heads home. But unfortunately it continues to be a pretty traumatizing experience for the dad as the child continues to throw-up from the back seat.
Peterson asks: "WHAT DID HE EAT BECAUSE IT SMELLS LIKE ROTTING WHALE BLUBBER"
And he explains, "Trying to drive home with the windows down and breathing through my shirt."
At last check 93,000 people have reacted to his post and it's been shared more than 150,000 times within the four days after he posted it.
For many parents who have laughed over some epic child vomit stories of their own, this one may top the charts.